04 12 / 2013
"Before top surgery, I tried really hard to ignore my breasts during sex, and any activity that drew attention to them was a major turn-off. It’s also sometimes frustrating to have to stop what we’re doing in order to put on my dick (strap-on harness and dildo)… it just reminds me that I can’t penetrate her with my own genitals. We both try to be upfront about how we’re feeling during sex, and we sometimes have discussions about sexual wants/needs in non-sexually-charged situations, which is nice ‘cause we can communicate about sex without killing the mood during the activity itself."
03 12 / 2013
"We connected through trial and error, and asking for things. I asked her to reassure me in how she touched/talked to me, and she asked the same from me. Our interests changed a lot once we both got on hormones. I can’t speak for her, but I now enjoy penetrative sex more, front fisting, and really all kinds of stuff since I am more okay with my body. I asked my partner to try it, with the knowledge it could trigger dysphoria for either of us, but since we had trust and communication, I felt okay trying things and trusted that she would see me the same way."
02 12 / 2013
My mind is as much biological as my body, so why is my body given precedence?
01 12 / 2013
"Now that I’ve had vaginoplasty I am struggling with the pressure to include penetration in sex (especially with men, but with women too) when I am not sure I want to. I also have a lot of anxiety about the appearance, smell, taste, etc. of my vulva. This is the same process many cis women go through in a society that shames vulvas and vaginas, just amplified by the experience of having had a different set of genitals for most of my life. In some ways I feel more apprehensive about sex now than I did before surgery."
30 11 / 2013
"There’s an assumption that transpeople don’t like their genitals. Yes, many transpeople feel dysphoria towards their “junk”, but not all of us. I ID as more male than female, but I like having a vagina, I want to keep my vagina, and I’m fine with me and my partners calling it a vagina. I don’t need anyone to refer to it as something else, like a “front hole” — however, there are those that do. Communication is the key—partners need to talk about these things."
29 11 / 2013
"As I became more and more exposed to positive representations of queer bodies and orientations, they sunk to the deepest level of my core. I saw beautiful transfeminine bodies online, in radical feminist pornography by Tobi Hill-Meyer and Courtney Trouble, and I said to myself, this is what I’ve always felt. I can be futch, soft butch, a little femme here and there, and that’s me. And I don’t need to prove that I’m this or that to anyone. I will make a beautiful woman and a beautiful dyke."
PLEASE, GO READ THIS IN ITS ENTIRETY. THEN SHARE IT AS MUCH AS YOU CAN. Absolutely amazing autobiographical piece on trans* dyke coming into her own skin!
28 11 / 2013
"The binders and prosthetics (or “packers”) we use during sex, to us, are not toys - they ARE part of us, and they are usually necessary for our own comfort level."
27 11 / 2013
"As a partner of a trans person, I try to not make assumptions. My boyfriend’s bodily experience is astronomically different from mine (as anyone’s is, come to think of it) and there is no way I can know how he is feeling/doing without asking."
27 11 / 2013
hey y’all, if you’d like to print a transposed & graphic’d up version of eli’s excellent into to anatomy & sexuality for partners of trans & gender rebellious folks, check out http://burnabyabc.wordpress.com/resources/
solidarity to the freedom fighters!
love from burnaby abc
This looks so great! Thanks! As always, if anyone’s interested in doing anything with the material from this site — putting it in another format, adding graphics, translating it into another language — go for it. Just link back to this site and give me a heads-up so I can post it here.